Don’t let a romance scammer get the best of you!
Our relationship expert Dr Pam Spurr (On Twitter @drpamspurr) gives us her best tips to avoid getting scammed when finding love.
No one expects to get scammed when they're looking for romance and love because most of us are natural optimists. We believe that we could identify someone attempting to scam us.
Unfortunately, it's not that easy to identify these scammers. Especially if you're back on the dating scene after a bad breakup, a divorce, or some other life trauma and you're at your most vulnerable.
The statistics are quite shocking with 9,500 people, in the UK, reporting romance scams in the year 2024/2025. On average each single lost around £8,000 with overall £106 million being lost. However, experts say this could be the tip of the iceberg because so many singles, that have been scammed, fail to report it due to embarrassment. You should never feel ashamed if you've been scammed, it can happen to the most aware of people.
There are many things you should be aware of to avoid being scammed when you're on the dating scene. Here are the key red flags:
* Have you only just met someone but already they are love bombing you? That's not a good sign. Although it could signify that they are quite emotionally needy, it could also signify they want to lull you into thinking they're the best thing since sliced bread.
* Do they seem to want too much of your time too soon? Again, they want to cocoon you into believing that they find you irresistible and just need to see you again really soon.
* Did they show up on a date and had forgotten their wallet/purse? Seriously, no one forgets their credit card even if they don't carry cash. And so many people have payment apps on their mobiles so this should never be an excuse.
This can be a red flag that they are testing the waters to see if you will happily pay for them or at least be embarrassed into paying for them. We Brits hate to have any sort of ‘scene’ meaning that we don't want any embarrassment on our first or one of our early dates.
* If you haven't actually met in person yet, but have only been interacting online have they refused to show their face? This can be a red flag that they are trying to hide their identity from you. Also be aware if they happily show photos of themselves but when you ask for FaceTime they make up an excuse like their FaceTime – or similar - app has broken. Don't forget that people have their personal photos stolen all the time and there are plenty of so-called stock photos that a scammer can use pretending it's a photo of themself.
* Does their profile on social media or on a dating app seem too good to be true? It probably is. Scammers want to appear like they are attractive and successful to throw you off the scent that ultimately they're going to be asking you for cash or gifts.
* Do they happen to mention that their mother needs an operation or their father needs expensive medications or their sibling is in hospital far away and they're trying to scrape together the money to fly to see them, or such like? This can be a red flag that they're testing the water to see how quickly you're prepared to stump up cash to help them out.
They act like this is urgent. Such urgent money requests are a massive red flag.
Never ever give or loan money to someone you've only just met and certainly never do so if you haven't even met them face to face. These scammers like to line up their ducks so to speak. They first select someone who appears vulnerable to them. Then they love bomb them. Then they start trying to determine if they can get money out of them.
* Always listen to your intuition. Something I'm always banging on about. The majority of us want to see the best in someone new. It's crucial you listen to that sixth sense that may be telling you something is up with this new person.
Good luck and happy dating x
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Follow Dr Pam on Twitter @drpamspurr and at drpam.co.uk
